


The Balcony

by AnimatedAaron



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Balcony Scene, Dark, Depressing, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything Hurts, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Married Couple, Married Life, One Shot, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 06:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17483111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimatedAaron/pseuds/AnimatedAaron
Summary: Ed's trauma has finally caught up to him. Tonight, he couldn't take it anymore. The nightmares and feelings of emptiness were never going to go away. He left a note on the desk and headed toward the balcony. However, when he stepped over the railing, he forgot one thing.Winry loved him.But will it be enough?





	The Balcony

The night was the same as every night for the past few years for the man. A haunting silence would find its way around him. Even with the window open during the summer. The crickets and sometimes harsh winds were there, but at the same time, they weren’t. Like a background noise to something more important going on. Only, the ‘more important’ thing was something Edward Elric desperately wanted to end.

It was a horror in a certain way. The same nightmare occurring constantly. Not every single night, and not in the same length every time. But not a week would go by without Ed’s past waking him up. The reminder of what he had seen during his travels. 

Other nights, it was a different trauma toying with his mind. Bringing any joy he felt to a halt. Any accomplishments were mute during these periods. Like a storm blocking any light. No happiness or pride. Just a numbness that did nothing but hinder. 

Getting out of bed took more energy than it should have. His wife needed to remind him about showers and other morning routines. To her, it was just a matter of him not being a morning person. The same reason it took forever for him to go to sleep. 

She would lay in bed next to him. Sometimes he would enwrap her during cold winter nights. Giving her some extra warmth. As much cover as his arms gave, the warmest thing she felt from him were the slow kisses on the neck. Without a word, Ed let her know she was protected and valued. 

However, it was tonight she realized how little value Ed saw in himself. 

“Edward?” Winry called. 

He turned to face her not changing his body position. She took a step out of their room and onto the balcony. The autumn cold wasn’t bothering either of them. Normally, pajama shorts and t-shirts would prompt shivering or goosebumps. Neither adult even felt the cool air. All Winry felt was fear. 

“Go back to bed Winry,” Ed said. He made it sound like a request. Something he’d appreciate but didn’t expect. 

Winry took another step toward the railing. 

“Why don’t you come to bed with me?” she suggested. “We can talk about this inside.” Ed turned his view to the grassland. He didn’t respond back. “Come on Ed. Let’s get you somewhere safe.”

One of his hands let go of the rail. Winry’s eyes shot open. Her heart stopped along with the impulse to lunge forward. His rocking back and forth with only one hand keeping him on the balcony was a mental torture trick. 

“Edward.” Winry whimpered. “Please. I don’t know what I can say that’ll—”

He cut her off, “Don’t be sad. This has nothing to do with you. I’m the one that can’t do anything.”

“You can climb back over and let me help you.” Winry tried. He didn’t notice the little steps she was taking toward him. The silent movements she was making. He didn’t notice a lot of things. The misspellings on their fillings. How sloppy his handwriting had gotten. How little he was eating that particular week. But she did notice. And she should’ve questioned it more. 

“Ed, I’m sorry that I made you feel like this.” Tears erupted and Winry’s breathing got heavy. She did her best to sound coherent in the midst of distress. “I’m sorry for not saying I love you enough! I’ll say it every day from now on!”

“Stop it Winry,” Ed ordered. His tone wasn’t harsh. It was the same as before. Stoic and disassociated. Like he had accepted the circumstances. “You did everything you could. This is something I have to do.”

“No.” Winry dropped to her knees. They were in arms reach of one another. Her adrenaline made it seem like a mile. “Edward. You don’t have to this! Just…please! Please! Come back over the rail! I’m begging you. Don’t do this Ed.” 

Her sobs got his attention. It was something he wanted to avoid. He wanted to avoid hurting her any more than, in his mind, he already had. Or at least, seeing her hurt. There was no way she would be even slightly okay with this. He knew that much. 

He knew doing this would break Winry’s heart. She’d have to explain to his brother what happened. His reasons for it were left on the desk. The note wouldn’t solve the issue of what he was about to do. He hoped it could at least inform her of why and how it wasn’t her fault. The pain and lack of happiness in his life was something a wife couldn’t fix. 

He had a perfect wife. But the nightmares persisted. He had a secure job. But the joy was absent. No matter what he did and accomplished, the emptiness remained. All he wanted was to go to sleep one more time. All he wanted was to do was be out of the way. His wife who deserved better than an emotionally distant and traumatized husband. 

“I know you think you don’t want this.” He said. “But trust me, you’ll be better off without me.” 

His fingers started to loosen and that was it. Winry tossed the rational approach away and made a short dash. Her arms encased Ed with a grip that forced a grunt out of him. She pulled him back so he was making full contact with her. Her face was buried into his back with her tears drenching his shirt. When she tried to lift him back over the railing, he gave her no help. In spite of his wife wanting him to live, Ed gripped the steel.

“Winry. Let go.” He sighed. 

Shrieking, “NO ED! I WON’T LET YOU DIE! I LOVE YOU!” 

“Winry. Let go of me or you’ll fall with me.” 

His warning backfired. 

“Then come back inside.” Her crying subsided. All Winry could muster were little gasp of desperation. “Don’t jump. We can talk about this. I swear. It’s not worth it.” 

Ed looked down at the ground. His plan was to land his head on the hard gravel. If the impact didn’t kill him instantly, he’d at least die shortly after. It’d be unimaginably painful, but it’d all be over. That was for certain. 

Winry was in pain but she wanted his to end more than anything. They’d struggle to remove the illness plaguing him, but that was her intention. She needed Ed off the balcony first. That much was true. 

You can’t gain anything without first giving something in return. This was Ed’s mantra after all. 

It was Ed’s mantra that led to his decision. 

END


End file.
